VOL 1465 - Sept. 30, 2015 - Strange Zen Sarcasm
Twice weekly E-letter - StrangeCosmos.com - This Week's Feature:
September Fun !
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Strange Quotes: When Insults Had Class
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."-- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Strange Zen Sarcasm
Strange Zen Sarcasm
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Submitted by Brian Via Susan
Most Popular - Parody - News - Pix
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BUMPER STICK ON HUMMERS REAR END TELLS WHAT HE THINKS OF GLOBAL WARMING! - http://www.strangefarmer.com/content/item/196756.html
NASTY PRANKS - FUNNY GUY STICKS ON A FAKE ELECTRICAL OUTLET AT THE AIRPORT TO FOOL COMPUTER AND CELLPHONE RECHARGERS! - http://www.strangemedical.com/content/item/196642.html
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STRANGE PARKING DANGERS - LUCKIEST STREET PARKER YET - TREE KNOCKED DOWN IN STORM FALL OVER CAR WITHOUT DAMAGE! - http://www.strangecollege.comcontent/item/196712.html
FUNNY GOLF PICTURES - CHECK OUT THIS METAL SIDED BUILDING NEXT TO A GOLF COURSE TEE BOX - MANY DENTS! - http://www.strangedangers.com/content/item/196743.html
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COOL OLDE CARS - CUSTOM 1952 CHRYSLER HARD TOP WITH A MESSAGE IN THE WINDOW! - http://www.strangeracer.com/content/item/196748.html
FARM FUN - TRACTOR PULL DISASTER - BLOWN SUPER CHARGED ENGINE - AMAZING ACTION GIF! - http://www.strangetravel.com/content/item/196750.html
STRANGE CELEBRITY PIXS - SHORT LITTLE TOM CRUISE NEXT TO SHAQUILLE O'NEAL AND TALLER MAN! - http://www.strangecelebrities.com/content/item/196751.html
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The Top News Articles & Humor for the Week
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Top 10 Strangest Movies Ever Made! - http://www.strangezoo.com/content/item/153748.html
Top Ten Strangest Phobias........ - http://www.strangefunkidz.com/content/item/154331.html
The Featured New Category This Week - Professionals - MD's, Lawyers, Police, etc.
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